#GrowlingMonster

I absolutely LOVE being woken up at 4am by a "Growling Monster" standing at the end of my bed! and by growling monster i mean my ready-to-play toddler!! I'm pretty sure this is pay back for everything i did to my brothers as kids!

#‎GoPutThatBackAndCloseTheFridgeAllTheWayPlease‬!!!

"I'm not cutting you a piece of salami with a butter knife, while I'm in the shower son!"  I've opened a string cheese, a bag of chips, put his shoes on the right feet and even fixed his gun all while I was in the shower! But I draw the line at cutting a piece of Salami with a f***ing butta knife while showering!!

#‎DirtBike‬ ‪#‎StartUmYoung‬!

#SleepIsWhatIWantForChristmas

Every year, for the last 3 years, when asked "what do you want for Christmas?" My answer hasn't changed. A full night of sleep, a hot meal of MY choice (Mac N cheese and BeefOroni isn't a meal!), a shower using adult soap (Sponge Bob doesnt count) and to walk through my house without having to make a path due to action figures, Legos and chewed up Fruit Snacks or Gold Fishes!!

#PriortiesMom

I just don't understand how these moms of small children find the time to post multiple selfies with full-on hair and makeup.  I feel super privileged when I get to piss in private!

#ScaredOfSanta

He wouldn't even tell Santa that he wants a new "Smoke pipe" (exhaust for his motorcycle) for Christmas!!

#CountryLiving #SingleGirl

Well... Just became a lil closer to my garbage men (Yes, men, as in two of them) Tried beating um this AM wearing only an oversized Tshirt, furry socks ooh and of course granny panties. ‪

#BarkingSeal

Noooo!! My sweet lil boy's voice has turned into a barking seal!!! It should be against the law for our babies to get sick!

#JesusLovesMeThisIKnow

Spilt my coffee while reaching for my wallet to pay bills over the phone, forgot milk at the store last night for today's breakfast, left the clothes in the wash over night, pretty sure my toes broke from the fire wood that fell on it but the minute I walked down the hall to check on lil man and I hear him singing "Jesus Loves Me This I know" makes all those troubles go away, as I stand back peeking into his room all I can think is "That's mine... He's Mine!" And I'm so proud!! Can't nobody wipe this smile off my face!!!

The look I get as I drive away from his preschool . . .

#CornSalamiandPicklesforBreakfast

My morning so far... I said no to "Corn, Salami and Pickles" for breakfast... I got Captain Hook thrown at me. After timeout, I give him a kiss and talk to him at which point he throws his limp body down on the floor screaming for me to "put the kisses back!" I wouldn't let him pee in the bathroom sink and I've just become the worse mother of all time according to the eye roll and slow turn and walk away I got....

#HandsAreNotForHitting

#Rubbergloves

7:45am doctors appt! I'll pay for the rubber gloves if it keeps a toddler occupied!!

‪#‎ScratchingMyHead‬ ‪#‎BathsRTheWorstThingEver‬ ‪#‎BathsRTheBestThingEver‬

Being a Mother to a toddler has to be the most confusing thing ever. The tantrum he throws when its bath time is almost as bad as the tantrum he throws when its time to get out!

LovedConfusedNeededAndHated

If ur not currently a parent ur not experiencing all the joy like I am this fine morning!  And by that I mean, trying to explain to a toddler that the time changed and to go back to bed because it was only 5:30am.  Or my favorite, being asked to help him blow his nose and then being screamed at to "put the buggers back in my nose!!!"

#JambaJuice #MomKnowsBest

Dear Jamba Juice, "I'm sorry we don't make a child size Banana Berry smoothie."  Huh??  But it's on the menu!  "No ma'am we can't.  Jamba Juice only carries four different smoothies we feel to be best for kids."  Hunny, I spend my mornings arguing with a toddler about why he can't wear his bike helmet and farm boots out in public, I'm not gonna argue with you over feeding my son bananas and strawberries, he'll have a large then!

Pretty productive day so far.  Already mopped the bathroom floor.  And by mopped I wiped up the water Nico splashed out as "a shark was getting him".

#ExBFsRelative

That awkward moment u not only pocket dial someone but FaceTime um. And they answer!

#samesame #jinglebells #thankyou

Apparently "Trick or Treat" equals "Jingle Bells" in the vocabulary of a toddler.

First day of school is tomorrow, why not get into an ink cartridge??

When i walked into the room he said "Mommy, Nico put on make up too." As if i wear THAT much makeup!! Lol

Nico

New to blogging

Please be patient while we figure this blog stuff out.